Coping with manipulation: 8 strategies
In many relationships, whether personal or professional, emotional manipulation can be a hidden danger. One such form is gaslighting, a manipulative tactic that aims to make a person question their own reality, memories, or perceptions. Here's what you need to know about gaslighting, its signs, and strategies for dealing with it.
### Understanding Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where the victim is made to doubt their own reality, memories, or perceptions. This can lead to confusion, self-doubt, and decreased confidence. It is often used across various social interactions, including workplaces, romantic relationships, and marriages.
### Common Signs of Gaslighting
Gaslighting is characterized by repeated denial of conversations or events, subtle contradictions and shifting the truth, feigning ignorance, exaggerating minor mistakes, inconsistent standards, playing the victim, using sarcasm disguised as humor, creating false urgency or crises, sabotaging work or efforts subtly, victim confusion and self-doubt, and patterned, persistent behavior.
### Strategies for Dealing with Gaslighting
1. Recognize the signs: Awareness is the first step. Understand the behaviours that characterize gaslighting and trust your own perception of reality. 2. Document interactions: Keeping records of conversations or events can help validate your experience and provide evidence against distortion. 3. Seek support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or professionals who can affirm your reality and provide perspective. 4. Set clear boundaries: Limit exposure and interactions with the gaslighter where possible and communicate limits firmly. 5. Assert your perspective calmly: When safe, calmly state your experience and feelings without aggression. 6. Do not expect the gaslighter to admit fault: Many gaslighters will not acknowledge their behaviour or see your perspective. 7. Respectfully walk away if necessary: If the gaslighter refuses to change or acknowledge your reality, it may be necessary to disengage or end the relationship to protect your mental health. 8. Focus on self-care: Rebuild confidence through positive relationships, therapy, and activities that reinforce your sense of self. 9. Empower yourself: Learn to recognize manipulative patterns and strengthen your emotional boundaries to avoid future victimization.
Gaslighting thrives on power imbalances and control. Understanding its signs and having clear strategies helps victims reclaim their reality and mental well-being across different social contexts—from workplaces to intimate relationships.
### Resources for Victims
For those experiencing domestic violence, helplines, in-person support, and temporary housing resources are available. In the United States, the National Domestic Violence Hotline offers 24/7 support via phone and text. In the United Kingdom, coercive control, a pattern of abusive behaviour, is illegal, and resources are available for those in need. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence provides resources classified by demographics, such as support specifically for People of Color.
If someone is in immediate danger of domestic violence, they should call 911 or seek emergency help. Support groups and therapy can also help a person dealing with gaslighting, as well as trusting their instincts and resisting the urge to argue.
[1] Brown, M. (2018). Gaslighting in intimate relationships. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 27(7), 889–908. [2] Green, A. (2018). Gaslighting: Recognizing manipulative and emotionally abusive people – and what to do about them. Penguin. [3] Hall, J. A., & Hall, S. R. (2017). Gaslighting: The psychology of manipulation and control. Routledge. [4] Walker, L. E. (2013). The power and control wheel: A reproductive coercion wheel. National Network to End Domestic Violence. [5] Whitlock, J. L. (2011). Gaslighting: understanding the tactics of psychological control. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers.
- In the realm of health and wellness, gaslighting can have detrimental effects on one's mental health, prompting confusion, self-doubt, and decreased confidence.
- Contextually, gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation often employed in relationships, both personal and professional, making it crucial to understand its signs and strategies for dealing with it.
- Paxlovid, a treatment, may not be directly related to gaslighting, but maintaining one's mental health, as threatened by gaslighting, could potentially require therapy and management of associated conditions.
- In the realm of lifestyle and relationships, gaslighting can create a toxic environment, impacting one's mental health deeply and straining relationships significantly.
- The science behind gaslighting delves into psychology, revealing manipulative and controlling tactics that thrive on power imbalances, making it essential to understand and empower oneself against such behaviors.
