Title: Navel-Gazing: Understanding Self-Absorption, Its Signs, and Strategies to Overcome
Being overly focused on one's own feelings and experiences to the point of disregarding others' feelings and thoughts is known as self-absorption. This behavior can stem from various reasons, including defense mechanisms, past experiences, or certain mental health conditions. Working with a mental health professional can be beneficial in overcoming self-absorption and establishing healthier relationships.
Understanding Self-Absorption
According to Dr. Menije Boduryan-Tuner, a psychologist and founder of Embracing You Therapy, self-absorption is a state where an individual becomes overly attuned to their own experiences, feelings, and thoughts. Although it may seem like simple awareness, self-absorbed behaviors can be detrimental, causing the individual to overlook others' feelings and thoughts.
Self-absorption is viewed as a transdiagnostic process, meaning it affects various mental health conditions as a risk factor or a maintaining factor. Unhealthy self-focused processing, which is excessive, inflexible, and sustained, is a reflection of this concept.
Identifying Signs of Self-Absorption
Dr. Menije identified several common signs of self-absorption, such as frequently discussing one's experiences without considering others, dominating conversations, prioritizing one's wants and feelings during conflicts, and holding one's experiences in higher regard during compromise.
Causes of Self-Absorption
Multiple factors contribute to self-absorption, including trauma experiences, past experiences involving rejection, abandonment, or judgment, mental health conditions, and neurological factors like dopamine deficiency and trauma responses.
Coping with Self-Absorbed Individuals
Individuals dealing with someone who displays signs of self-absorption should first learn the signs and avoid using phrases like "You're so self-absorbed" as a dramatic statement. Developing empathy and setting healthy boundaries can help address the situation effectively.
Overcoming Self-Absorption
Individuals seeking help to overcome self-absorption should approach the issue with self-compassion, as excessive self-focus often stems from an insecure and unstable sense of self. Mental health professionals, such as therapists, can offer guidance in addressing past behaviors and forming healthier relationships with others.
Quotes from Dr. Menije Boduryan-Tuner
- "Remember that letting go of your self-absorption doesn't mean your needs won't be considered or attended to. The goal is to have more balanced relationships where it's more of a win-win, not a win-lose."
- "Individuals who are experiencing self-absorption often seek help because they have lost relationships or been confronted by people close to them."
- "The goal is to learn to take accountability for past behaviors, not blame, in order to approach others in a more genuine, respectful, and healthy way."
- The transdiagnostic process of self-absorption can also be linked to certain mental health conditions, such as narcissistic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder, which fall under the broader field of other mental health issues.
- To effectively tackle self-absorption, one may also benefit from the expertise of a psychiatrist, as they can provide medication to manage underlying mental health conditions that may contribute to these behaviors.
- Encouraging self-reflection and personal growth through practices like mindfulness, meditation, and journaling can also be beneficial in reducing self-absorption and promoting a healthier mental state.
